You know, it's really difficult to accept change. It just is. We say we embrace change, we like it, we think it's needed, even necessary, but when it comes right down to it, change is loss and the unknown. Even if we know the change is going to be better there is still a sense of loss because of what was, the comfortableness of what was - we had gotten used to it and we knew how to adapt to what was. Now, what is or will be is the unknown. Buyer's remorse? Same thing. Even though we know what we've just purchased may be better than what we had, it's still difficult because of the unknown. That new car may roll off the lot and break down and I'll have a "lemon" on my hands. None of us want that. Besides the embarrassment at having been taken, it's the hassle of the trouble we've brought on ourselves. Ya know, I wish I could say I always embrace change and want it. The reality is that change is just difficult.
Allow me a rather sad illustration. Perhaps you've known someone to be in an abusive situation. You've scratched your head and wondered, "Why don't they just leave? They would be better off, safer, and happier, so they should leave. NOW!" And yet, they stay. Why? Aw, I know, plenty of theories abound but I believe one of the biggest reasons is just what I'm writing about. Change. Status quo, even though unhealthy, is "knowable" and therefore more comfortable than the unknown of change. That abused person may even admit that change is important and necessary for survival. But, you'll hear them say things like, "But, when he's good, he is such a wonderful man; loving, kind, compassionate. It's only when ..." Or, "Yes, but, she can be the sweetest person around. Most of the time. It's just that ..." Hmmm? Change? That abused person is saying, "Nah, I'm comfortable with this because of the safe, loving times. I know what to expect. I think if I avoid 'this' I won't trigger 'that' and I'll have the best of both worlds." We all know that won't happen and eventually the person's very life may be at stake. It's because status quo is much more comfortable than the change because change represents the unknown and the status quo, though perhaps unhealthy, is known.
One final thought: should we make changes for the sake of change? Absolutely not. Our Creator built us to enjoy the comfortable. Change for the sake of change is disruptive and harmful as well. We can talk about that at another date. Suffice it to say, living in constant disruption is not good and definitely not healthy. Stability is necessary for change to ever be effective when the opportunity for change comes.
Why is unhealthy status quo preferred above healthy change? Because we're WEIRD; that's why!
